Eureka!

Since my last post, a whopping several hours ago, I have been a cleaning MACHINE around my apartment!  (Lula has taken to running amuck on all of the newly uncovered and clean surfaces!  Yeah, spread more cat hair around, woo!)   In addition to cleaning like crazy, I have been washing my hands in between each task, as I am want to do...

So as I was washing my hands with my super yummy smelling Dial hand soap (with almonds and cherry blossoms I think), I was looking at my old soap caddy a friend got me as a housewarming gift when I moved into this place several years ago.

Since then, the dish soap has run out, and been replaced by good ol' Dial blue soap.  I rarely use the lotion, but the hand soap also recently ran out.  I really like the caddy.  It keeps everything in place in the corner of my sink.  

But the labels are going to bother me, if they do not have contents as labeled anymore.  I thought about trashing them all, but couldn't for some reason.  Sooooo... Eureka!  I thought I might make a cozy for them, a la THIS tutorial.  I could even hand stitch the words "lotion" and "soap" onto them, sort of like Amanda Jean did in THIS post.  

I know this has nothing to do with cleaning, or anything necessary.  And it's not like my to do list really needs something else on it.  But it will be pretty!  And sometimes, that's all you need!  

What a weekend!

Phew!  My weekend and last week were so busy, that my chill out time tonight is cleaning my apartment up!  I'd post a photo as evidence, but I dare not sure what the place looks like right now!  I WILL share some other photos later, though.

Saturday morning I ran 8 miles.  Only 8 miles.  Crazy sounding, right?!  I never thought I'd say only 8 miles!  But that is compared with the fact that I was supposed to run 11, and that's really dropping it down from 12 or a full 13.1 trial run.  I wanted to keep my momentum up before tapering in two weeks, but my knee was giving me trouble this week.  Not my left knee like normal, nope.  My right knee has been hurting with pretty much every step since last Tuesday when I ran 3 miles around Ghent.  So 8 was painful enough.  Plus a head cold last week, and bleah... 8 it was!

But that's ok, because my Mom was here for the Quilt Show!  So I met her at the Convention Center, and we (along with a bajillion others) meandered around and looked at antique tablecloths, amazing hand made quilts, jewelry made from antique ceramic buttons, and lots and LOTS of fabric!  Mom got some good pictures on her camera.  Hopefully she will email them to me when she gets home so I can post some examples.

I didn't break the bank spending money, but I did plan some new projects.  I have 2 friends that are having 3 babies (yes, twin boys!) this sumer, so I'm going to try my hand at a baby quilt!  Or three.

As much as I'm not a fan of "genderizing" children early on, I couldn't resist this adorable blue, cream, and brown fabric.  I have a few different ideas for simple quilts I can make with it.  So hopefully the two twin boys can get two different versions and patterns with the same fabric.  One idea is THIS quilt, and another idea is currently in my head.  Hopefully I can sketch it out on graph paper soon and upload it.  

I also bought the same fabric in pink.  I'm really hoping someone I know has a girl sometime soon! 

I bought another set of fabric, in turquoise and lime green batik with green and yellow accents.  This will be one of those awesome little bags for a friend's birthday. 

The only I really bought for myself was this amazing owl fabric!  It's brilliant colors, owls, AND Day of the Dead!  Pretty much the trifecta of what I love in fabric patterns, all in one!  So I bought a yard.  I want to make something really special with it, but I'm hoping I don't hoard it away forever like I usually do.  Any ideas?

I'm also obsessed with this line of fabric, called Kaffe Fassett.  I don't know anything about it at all, except for the fact that it's BEAUTIFUL!  It reminds me of batik, or marbilized paper, or even Art Deco graphics.  I didn't buy any, again, mostly because I would love to buy so much of it, I'd never leave the quilt show with any money left.  So I will just wait until I can find it in person, with a real project in mind, and a loaded piggy bank.  

And finally, my lovely Lula, snuggling between Mom and me on Sunday morning.

Now, to make dinner and clean.  What a relaxing Monday!

All the Weigh

I'm frustrated, plain and simple.  Last year when I ran the Shamrock Half Marathon, I weighed approximately 15 pounds less than I weigh right now.  I lost 10 pounds in the previous 6 months before the half marathon, and a lot of it had to do with training for the race.  (The other part of it had to do with stress and working in a gigantic building.)

And I keep thinking, "What happened?! Did I really let myself go?!"

Well, what happened was, I got fat and happy.  What happened was, I found great friends, and a wonderful man who wanted to hang out and go out to eat.  What happened was, I wasn't making sad, pathetic microwave/toaster oven dinners for one anymore.  What happened was I stopped being so stinking depressed, too.  And if you really want to get technical, my metabolism put on the brakes after the race loooong before my appetite did.  (There was also that little 30th birthday in there, which makes most people go, "ooooooooh" like they are in mourning for me already.)  So there you go, fat and happy.

Now I'm looking at myself, and it makes me depressed all over again.  No, I'm not obese.  I doubt people can even tell.  But I can tell.  I can see jiggles in places I've never seen, and I have trouble with clothing that I've never had before.  I can see the entire box of pants and work clothes that I can no longer wear.  And I miss them.

Yes, I like my body most of the time.  I like certain things about myself.  I'm a chubby and muscular girl by nature, and that will never change.  Nor do I want it to.  I just want to be happy with the way I look again.  I don't mind a muffin top, but I have a whole darn muffin!  I might have a whole muffin PAN.

So I joined Weight Watchers... again.  And I'm going to try it, again.  It hasn't ever really worked for me.  Mostly because I'm a vegetarian, and things I eat have a lot of points.  (A PBnJ is 9/26 points!  And I don't like fruit!)  And I doubt I measure everything out the way I should. (Honestly, who measures their milk before they put it in cereal at 5:30am?)  And sometimes I don't turn on my computer to track my points like I should either.

But SOMETHING has got to change.  Something has to kick my butt in gear.  I need to rent Jillian Michaels for like a month, but short of that, I have to do something.  I am going to be the Maid of Honor in a wedding in August.  I need to buy my dress by April.

So here I go again.  I've already used up my 26 points for the day, and it's just passed lunch.  I doubt my dinner will consist of air, so that stinks.  BUT my 3 mile run on the treadmill will burn 7 points worth of food, so I guess that's progress.  Step by step and ounce by ounce.

Now... how many calories can I burn sewing?!

Finally!

I have finally finished a project... in one sitting!  Granted, it did take me about 2 hours, which was a lot longer than I thought.  But now that I know how to make one of these adorable little bags, I'm going to make more of them, and maybe even experiment with different sizes!  AND I can even start using up my ribbon stash!  (My ribbon stash is almost as out of control as my fabric stash... almost.)

I got the idea for making this bag from A cuppa and a catch up, and she linked to THIS awesome tutorial from In Color Order.  Both of which made absolutely beautiful bags!  I'm not sure this particular bag I've made is worthy, but hey!  I accomplished something!

It was nice to see that even though it took waaaay longer than I thought, I also followed step-by-step directions from a tutorial.  I am usually a hands on "haptic/kinesthetic" learner, which means trying to follow written directions is virtually impossible for me.  Even simple directions that are mostly written might as well be in another language.  So thanks to the thorough efforts of In Color Order, with all of her photographs and simple directions, I did manage to follow step-by-step directions, without having to see it made in order to understand it!

I know I had told myself this morning that today I was going to clean and work on some chores.  I even made myself a reasonable "to do" list for today.  And making a little bag was definitely not on the list.  But I had an itch!  And I thought that if this week at work would be anything like the last two weeks at work, than I really did deserve to give myself some crafting time.  So I did.  

I also used up some more fabric from my stash. I've been saving this batik fabric for over ten years.  I think I bought it with Maria my freshman year in college from Patchwork Plus, this awesome fabric store in Mennonite country up in the Shenandoah Valley.  I just have never found anything worthy enough of using it up!  So here it is, and I even have enough leftover so that I can put some pieces of it into my patchwork quilt.

So even though the sheets have not been changed, or the dishes washed, or the cat box cleaned, I feel rather accomplished, all before noon.  And on a day off, I think that really is quite and accomplishment!

Making Progress

Tonight I got to stay up late (just like a little kid) thanks to a day off tomorrow.  So I spent about 2 hours or so cutting pieces for my quilt.  According to my calculations (yes, I did calculations), I need 361 6x6" squares to make it.  And I currently have 323.  I think I cut about 100 of those tonight!

I've used about 38 different fabrics I think, which uses up MOST of the random fat quarters I've bought over the years.  I do a lot of "Ooh! This is pretty! I'm sure I'll use it for something..." when buying my fabric.  Most of that was from The Quilt Show that mom and I have gone to in year's past.  We're going again this year, which is this coming weekend!  I'm so excited, but also hoping I don't buy too much more to put into my stash, after I've worked so hard to clean it out!

Tonight  I also learned to spend a few extra bucks on better tools.  And a metal corked-backed ruler that works great in design/screenprinting, does NOT work against the edge of a rotary blade! (Not to mention that awful metal on metal sound, yeatch!)

In college I learned "A good carpenter never blames his tools."  Well, this is still true of course, but if your tools are crap, even if you are a good carpenter, your house might still fall down.  Or something like that.  So perhaps if my el cheapo rotary cutting blade lasts through this project, and if I still want to quilt ever again, I will spend the money to buy a name brand one.

So here is a picture of my 323 pieces all cut out and waiting to be sewed together.  I'm hoping the cat doesn't start attacking the stringy sides.

And here is what I have sewn together so far, which I did last Sunday.  If you look closely enough you might notice that I have 18 sewn together, and then two 9 patches.  I'm hoping to put them together tomorrow.

And of course, here is Miss Lula, getting all up in the action.  She's ready for her close up, apparently.  She's also ready for bed, which she's expressed by sitting ever closer to my laptop, to the point that she is trying to close the screen with her rump.  She's talented like that.

I can't wait to sew more of this together!  It's becoming my real creative release!  But for now, I will appease the kitten and get to bed.  Maybe it actually will snow...

It Goes to 11

This morning I ran 11 miles in training for the Shamrock Half Marathon in gasp... exactly one month!  I haven't run that far since the Shamrock Half last year.  This year's training has definitely been more difficult than last year.  I'm not exactly sure why.  Maybe because I have about 17 more pounds to carry around with me than I did last year.  Maybe because last year I was so excited/scared to run the half marathon that I was just pumped full of adrenaline for five months of training.  Maybe because my personal and work lives weren't what I wanted them to be, and it was my release.  Maybe all of this.

But anyway, this year I also KNOW how long 11 miles really is, and what it feels like it is.  So at mile 3, my evil brain starts discouraging me.  But I kept on going, slowly but surely.  I am much more of a tortoise than any various of hare.

Honestly, by the end of mile 8, I felt like I had been running a tough mudder.  First Landing State Park's main trail has been muddier than anything the past several weeks.  And today was no exception.  Especially with a distance series race in the park, and speedy runners passing me constantly, kicking back mud and muck in their wake.  At least I have the muddy clothes to prove I ran 11!  

Last year, during my first attempt at running 10 miles, which happened to be in a cold January downpour, I got so frustrated and angry and... you can read this snippet from my Team in Training fundraising site from last year:

"Saturday as I was running in the pouring rain, with four miles left to go, I tried my best to keep a positive attitude. (The rain falling on cypress marshes was lovely, after all.) But I still cursed the weatherman for his inaccurate reporting, and the rain for picking the “wrong day.” But then the thought “This weather may suck, but CANCER STILL SUCKS MORE!!” popped into my head. I used that notion to propel me onward and to keep the true goal in sight.

As I continued to run with my iPod on, an acoustic cover of “Hey Ya” by Outkast came on, and I immediately thought of a time in college when friends from home came to visit. We danced and sang “Hey Ya” (we may have acquired a traffic cone) in our college living room, and it is one of my greatest memories from that time. It is made even more special because it involved my friend Nathan who lost his battle to cancer several years ago. The more I listened, the more overcome with emotion I became.

“Why isn’t Nathan still here? Why did my friend lose her father? Why didn’t I get to know Nick better? Why do two other loved ones have to go through chemo right now? Why does cancer have to exist?! Cancer, why won’t you leave people I care about alone?! Just leave us all alone!!”

Before I knew it, I was running as fast as I could, crying uncontrollably. The more I cried, the angrier I got, and the faster I ran. I enjoyed splashing and stomping through puddles, imaging cancer was being destroyed with each step! The more it rained, the less I could see, the fast I went, and the angrier I got. I’ve never run two miles with such intention in all my life."

Today I again experience a similar rush of emotions, but on a crystal clear and warm (for February) morning.  I was approaching the end of mile 10, and I couldn't take it anymore.  I thought about people I know that have passed away recently and suddenly.  I thought about people running and training with Team in Training, some of whom are still battling, or have recently battled cancer.  Some of us just want to kick cancer's ass a little harder with every step we take.

I don't know if it has simply to do with WHY I am running these half marathons that I get so emotional.  I don't know if it has to do with a rush of adrenaline at the end of a long run.  I wonder if anyone else has had such emotional training sessions?  I definitely use all of my training sessions (especially these long runs) for a sort of personal therapy session within my own brain.  Maybe just all of my realizations just hit me hard in the face sometimes.  

Either way, I do appreciate the rush of emotions when I get to the end of my run.  I love the sense of accomplishment, and the incredibly calm feeling I have, even though I'm usually in a decent amount of pain at some point on my body.  I love high-fiving Coach Bob, the best running coach and mentor a girl could ever ask for when I get back to start.  In my mind, there is yellow finish line tape, and I just busted the hell out of it!  

My Biggest Fan

I doubt that my almost 3-year-old insane cattin, Lula, will enjoy the fact that I have one more thing to take the attention away from her.  It's rough being a cat, I'm sure...

An Empty Room

So... how's everyone doing...?  I don't know how to start a "blog" post anymore.  I haven't really written for myself in unlimited character capacity since my college years.  I'm not even sure the word "blog" was part of our vernacular yet.  But... here. I. Am.

Basically, I need to get my thoughts in order.  And I have some goals in mind, that I'd like to work through.  So that's about it, really.

Bloggity blog blog.